Night Visit

A letter to God

Dear God,

Hi it's me again. I've been having a really bad couple of days now, and tonight I need to talk to You about it.

Yesterday I heard my son was in a car accident. Thankfully he was not seriously injured and Your Presence kept him from greater harm. At first I was ok.because I know he has many people praying for him.You are so Good ! I talked to him tonight and he's fine . I also talked to my Anneka.



I love her so much Father and I weep now thinking of how much I am missing her. This always awakens deep loneliness in my heart. I think I'm doing so great and then BAM pieces everywhere.

In the tension of the present circumstances, I forget that this is not my real life. This is not who I am, it's just something I am doing for a little while.

I feel lost in the darkness that frequently rages through this house and I fight to separate myself from those shadows that want to ensnare me. I struggle to see with Your eyes the way You see people, and to love with Your heart the way You love me.
I get angry and feel like I am failing You Lord. I get angry at the war and destruction that is happening in my midst and I am powerless to stop it.

Free will....free choice...the veil that blinds the minds and hearts of the lost. All this seems to mock me and today the arrows pierce me, I feel the wrath of the enemy.

How did you do it Jesus ?
How did you stand in the face of such vile opposition ?
How did you love even when You were so abused ?

My heart breaks tonight. I sit here and weep before You and join my heart with Yours. You are the One who has gone before and shared this particular grief and heartache.....and You comfort me.

I will become who and what YOU have created me to be, and I will not be conformed to the world and it's opinions. I know it's ok for me to be homesick, to want to be loved and cared about, by family and friends. For this season, this is removed from me , but Jesus, You are always enough !

So I give You my heart and my tears again Lord. The burden of this task seems too great and I am very weak. I thank You that You never leave me, that You choose the weak things of this world to confound the strong.

Thank You for the whisper of Your love and Nearness as You visit me in the darkness of this night season. Come Holy Spirit, breathe into me the Breath of Resurrection Life. I love You. I am always Your daughter and beloved. Amen.


(Trenton Journal Oct.23, 2004)