Old Memories

This picture was taken Christmas Eve 1954. My dad was overseas in Korea, in the army. This night we had our baths, and were behaving very well so that Santa would be really good to us.

That funny looking kinda stunned one on the couch is yours truly. Then there is my sister JoAnne with the huge grin, and my brother Michael, the baby. I had another brother Robert, but I have no idea where he was when this was taken.

My mom had dressed up really pretty ot go to Midnight Mass.

My sister and I shared the same room and the same bed. This night we lay quietly in bed for hours (or so it seemed to us) waiting for Santa to come. We were so quiet, only whispering softly so mom would not discover us. This night there were no arguments, only little girls filled with the wonder of what morning would bring.

JoAnne fell asleep, but I waited and waited. I stood upon my bed and stared out my window gazing up into the clear night sky. I wished upon a lot of stars to pass the hours. I wonder what I wished for ?

I think it was to be loved.

When I could stay awake no longer, I lay down, and when I was just about asleep, I was sure I heard the jingle of sleigh bells in the sky. I leapt up to the window once again, only to stare disappointed at the sparkling stars.

It didn't matter though as morning brought the joy I had been anticipating.

Christmas morning it seemed that I didn't have to 'be good' because Santa loved me with no strings attached, and to prove it there were my gifts. It seems in my childs mind I could never please my mother enough, and never felt loved with 'no strings'...but that's another story.

The thing that strikes me most about all this is the waiting. Somehow, I feel there is a part of me still standing at that window in the dark waiting and hoping for something wonderful to happen, but also feeling the disappointment of that something not showing up at all.

Now, fifty years later I am reminded again of the waiting. Still I am waiting, but now I know Who it is I am waiting and longing for.

The One born in a stable, the King of Kings, having set aside for a time His Life of absolute love and joy in heaven with His Father. The High and Holy One bowed so low coming quietly into the world He created . Born to die. Born to save.

Born in my heart , the greatest gift I have ever received. Loved , accepted, cherished and belonging to Him....with no strings attached.

(Trenton Journal Nov.29, 2004)