The best thing I did today ....I mailed my application for Simeon Company at the International House of Prayer. I really need to remember that there will be life again later.

Tonight as I was busy running many errands, I was in down town Trenton. There is a beautiful marina there, and the whole area was brilliant with Christmas lights. I wish I had my camera. A reminder that in a month it will be Christmas.

The ladies in this house do not celebrate Christmas. There are many reasons, none of them spiritual. They have been robbed, but they are not aware of it.

I am one who has always loved this time of year ever since I was a child. I know at times I was too extravagant with my own children at Christmas , but I really loved giving them gifts and making our home a special place of memories.

I don't even know if they remember that or understand my heart in doing it for them. My mother always did the same for us when we were young and I am very grateful.

I wept tonight .... and I finally realized it was because I will not be with my children and grandchildren at this most favorite time....for me.

For this year I will lay it aside, to do whatever the Lord has for me to do here.

This place is like living in another world all together. I mostly don't even like it here. It's not my world, and when it tries to consume me I revolt. It is then I remind myself that I really do belong to 'another country', one in the heavenlies , not made with human hands.

Christmas reminds me of this time and time again. I love The Story, and all the other little stories, like the one I watched through my tears tonight about a grinch.

I think to survive the situation here, I must make my own little Christmas here in my little room.

I will watch my favorites and remember that this time of serving here will end. I will buy a little manger scene and maybe even a little tree and I will not let myself be robbed of the Presence of the One who started the whole thing in the first place. Yes...sounds like a plan to me.

p.s.....that rotten little mouse is still here and has paid no attention to the fact that there is a tech device scrambling his brain waves. I give up ! He has won the day. Back to the poison I guess...that will teach him...right ???

(Trenton Journal Nov.25, 2004)