Memories

This is the place where I have written a few stories about. When I was a child I would go to this particular place. I would stand there, where the path leads to the water and call across to my little grandpa. He would then get into his little rowboat and come across to pick me up.

His companionship and his cottage right across the river just behind where those trees are were a haven of peace for me.

This summer while on holiday I went to that happy place. I took my shoes off, walked in to the water, and was stirred deeply with fond and fearful memories.

The fond memories....escape to a place where I knew I was loved.

The fearful...the reasons I needed to run to this place.

This particular day, the Lord stood with me in the water. I prayed, wept a little, and felt the warm sunshine on my face. The Sonshine of promise for a new future, one filled with hope and dreams washed over my heart and soul.

Long moments of remembrance, waves gently washing up my legs. So much peace.

Behold....I make all things new.

This warm day, I was given the grace to release it all. I picked up five small smooth stones. Each represented something I needed to let go of.

Finally. Willingly. ....Goodbye ...to past sorrows, those things that had still been shadows within me, still having some influence over me. I cast those from myself, into the River of Life.

I stand now on the shore with Life Himself. Looking forward, leaning on my Beloved.



Tonight I will be packing my computer for the long journey ahead. I hope to be back on line in a couple of weeks. I will miss this journalling, and I am looking forward to the Lord giving me a fresh vision of His Beauty in the days and months ahead.

(Trenton Journal Sept.15, 2004)

Reflections

Well, I have only three days left at my work place. I will not be sorry to leave. I am grateful to the Lord for the provision this has provided and the many things I have learned from my time there.

Thanks for the long hours of time with You Lord. You have found me in the most unusual times and places.

Remember the time I was listening to those tapes on the Glory School? The one on Your Holy Spirit ? You ambushed me right there in the hall. I had to run to our 'little room' to fully experience that encounter with You. That was so wonderful ! You are amazing Jesus !

Remember the other time I was dancing around the garbage room to that Kevin Prosch song 'You're are my One Thing'? That was so cool Lord! You really do like to move outside the boxes we try to put you in. Thanks for that .

Remember the many times You found me cleaning some toilet bowl,or in some dirty oven.
You would come near to me,and break my heart while whispering comfort and direction.

In times of deep distress and sorrow You met me in so many tender ways. You have been with me and shown me that You are the God of the elderly. Those whose lives are in the later years, and You have declared that they are valuable to You, and therefore to me as well.

You have taught me that Mercy and Grace can go a long way among those who do not know You. That was a profound truth!

I quite enjoyed being hidden there.

Now the season has changed radically. So on we go to the next great adventure together.
I ask for grace to do what You have called me to do. I want to see with Your Eyes, to Hear with Your ears, and to BE Your Hands and Heart. Amen.

(Trenton Journal Sept.12,2004)

Today

I woke up this morning with the words to this song by Brian Doerksen swirling in my head. I cannot think of a better way to 'waste' my life than on Jesus.

As I have become more and more detached from the material things of this life, something wonderful has begun to happen.
As my apartment is emptied of 'stuff' that I cannot take with me on my journey, there is a familiar 'Voice' I am hearing .

A deeper awareness of His Nearness within me. The Voice of my Beloved, speaking to me the little things that a Beloved cares about.

I don't always feel His Presence while I am packing and sorting, but just when I am looking for something, I will hear His voice or feel His direction.

He is making Himself very real, and the fact that we are doing this together is what I'm supposed to see.

If you loose your life you will find it. Maybe this is what this is about. The thing is the grace is here, grace to say YES.

He alone gives the grace and enabling to do what He has called me to do. I have very clearly heard the call, and responded to the invitation to go with Him through the Door the this new place.

Today....I choose to follow You. Today, I choose to give my Yes to You.
I love you Jesus.

(Trenton Journal Sept. 11, 2004)

Trenton 2004 : The Journey Begins

It's been a busy, crazy week.

Sorting , packing , making decisions....
How many earrings does a girl need ?
I can't find my winter boots...how many coats does one need ???
....more tape please !

Boxes stacked everywhere....A pile for the Salvation Army...
a pile to storage...a pile to ship ahead.

Chaos....I hate it...yet I am remembering that the Spirit of the Lord God brooded over the chaos of the deep, and Life was created...so even though I will be walking through the valley of the shadow of death....even there, Life will be birthed in the midst.

Tonight I took a break and went to visit a friend. We just chatted and listened to worship music soaking in the Presence of our Beloved. Life...in the midst of the storms of life.

The truth is with so many friends being 'scattered', the question whispered....'Am I enough for you ?'
When everyone is gone...Am I enough for you ?
Are you willing to come away when the only One who knows you is Me?

AM I ENOUGH ?

Sunday morning was particularly sweet. My son Jason and his beautiful wife Yvonne, were doing the worship. The Spirit of the Lord was very powerful and He was so very near to me.
This mothers' heart has always been so blessed when Jason leads the worship. Like every mother, I have prayed for years that my children would KNOW HIM and love to worship Him in Spirit and Truth.



I have been blessed to observe (and weep) as the Lord takes us deep into Himself. To the loving heart of God in passionate worship and intercession, and I have touched the Throne in the midst of the swirl of the Spirit in these times of Encounter.

I am so thankful to have shared these times in the Spirit with my son. I will miss this a lot !

"AM I ENOUGH ?"....YES LORD...YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH !

(Trenton Journal Sept.7,2004)

Sealed

Place me like a seal on Your Heart, like a seal upon Your Arm;
Marked...for God alone.

That's me and my life. I want to live my life poured out for Him and upon Him.
For me there are no other options. He has captured my heart forever.

Many waters of trials and persecutions cannot quench this love.
Neither can the floods drown and overwhelm it,
You prepare a table of love and communion with me ,
in the presence of my enemies.

Who is my Beloved ? My Beloved is Radiant in His Splendor,
He is Brilliant in His Loveliness, clothed in Light as a garment.
He is Dazzling, Vibrant with Life and Power.
He is Excellent and full of the Glory and Majesty of God.

He sees all my longings for Him, and His eyes are full of tender promise.
He gently lifts my eyes to gaze into His, and whispers His comfort.
He clothes me with His Presence, and imparts His strength and courage.
He is Altogether Lovely ! Let the King bring me into His chambers!

Today Jesus, I will live from this place of safety,
Kiss me with the kisses of Your Word.
Lead me to the table of Revelation
I will drink deeply of You !

(March 11, 2004)