The small girl child lay quietly sleeping, dreaming ? She cannot recall now. She cannot remember. Safety ? Trust ? Even the warmth of her little bed. All those memories are buried behind the wall she has erected to keep the silence.
But now - she has heard a new Voice beckoning her from the fortress of solitude she has called home for over sixty years. Deep within the recesses of her self made prison the shadows threaten to paralyze her again, to hinder her response to the Voice of her Beloved.
So many shadows, so many lying voices, so many chains wanting to keep her captive . Fear, the old master sits comfortably in control. He doesn't even need to threaten her now. She has learned the behavior necessary to stay alive. Even though she has longed for death to end her captivity, something makes her live.
Shame and worthlessness witness against her, whispering accusation.
Innocence shattered, unspeakable terror, dark and all encompassing pain.
Her mind fled, her heart died , her soul swallowed up in devastating sorrow.
She wants to go back, to remember what it was like to feel safe. To feel loved. To belong to God. To trust. To sleep a healthy sleep.
Instead a gnawing hunger seems to force her to feed the terror and the pain. Counterfeit appetites only seem to fuel the consuming void where her heart lies hidden. The place reserved for Love . A Safe Place. A Loving Heart.
Awakening ! Jesus ?
Revelation stirs the promise of restoration. Holy Presence approaches gently , the invitation to Come Away settles upon her suddenly hopeful heart, tenderly urging her to finally leave this place of loneliness and despair she has built around herself.
You have purchased me Lord ? You make all things new ? Even me ?
Yes Jesus ! I am Yours alone , and this surrender is sweet and merciful.
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